Birthdays, Blindsides, and Goodbye Kisses

We couldn't believe how quickly September had come and gone.  We were in full-scale planning for all things Fall & Winter.  October is a jam packed Birthday month.  Josiah was about to turn 4.  My birthday is at the end of the month.  We had a birthday celebration planned.  Our annual trip to the pumpkin patch was approaching.  We decided, this year, to bypass the mall trick-or-treating and take the boys "real" trick-or-treating - we were going with Josiah's best friend & her family!  Things familiar and new - we couldn't wait.

The boys had their flu shots.  Carl had a few MD appointments.  By Columbus Day weekend, we all had colds.  New England living makes this a common occurrence - cold one day, hot the next.  This wasn't unusual, nor did it concern us.

On Sunday, October 11th, family gathered to celebrate the 4 October birthdays.  It was a beautiful day.  Carl spent a lot of time outside with the boys.  We enjoyed good food, exchanged gifts, had cake, and celebrated a day of making memories.  The boys were happy.  I was happy.  Carl was happy.

On Monday, Josiah turned 4.   Carl had an MD appt.  I took the boys to a dentist appointment.  After, we met up with Carl at the YMCA.  We had registered the big boys for their first-ever mud run!  We spent a beautiful afternoon together.  It was a gorgeous day.  The boys had a blast and each won a medal.  Carl got a call, from his doctor, in the afternoon.  Carl had pneumonia.

Carl had gone through bouts of pneumonia countless times in his life.  This was not new to him.  It was not concerning.  A prescription was called in and we headed home.  The boys had school on Tuesday.

Tuesday & Wednesday were normal school days.  They were routine, at home, for Carl & I.  Thursday morning, we put the kids on their buses, for school.  Carl waved goodbye as the buses drove away - just as he does every morning.

Carl didn't seem to be getting better.  If anything, he seemed worse.  After some pleading, and a call to the MD, Carl agreed to let me drive him to the e.r.  We were sure he simply needed a more powerful antibiotic.  We weren't concerned.  Josiah and I brought Carl to the e.r. and said we'd see him later.

Carl was admitted to the hospital, for pneumonia.  He was being pumped full of antibiotics.  Friday, the boys and I went about our normal routine.  We talked to Daddy on the phone, Friday night.

By Saturday morning, I was concerned about Josiah's cough.  So, I bypassed the pediatrician and headed straight to the Children's Hospital.  I missed Carl & wished he were with us.  I thought about the last 10 years of Carl's health issues - chronic ulcers, several near death experiences, and several major surgeries.  He came through all of it.  He was a fighter.  This was just pneumonia.  This was nothing, comparatively speaking.

At 11am, we were still in the e.r.  Josiah had been seen but we were waiting for scripts, etc.  Josiah had bronchitis and an ear infection.  I realized that I had missed a call from the local hospital.  The message - Carl was in critical condition.  I called & spoke with the ICU MD.  Carl had strep pneumonia which had seeped into his blood stream; he was in septic shock.  I looked at the 3 boys through the window of that little room.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

We were able to leave a short time later.  Carl's brother was cutting a trip short; he was headed home to be with Carl. 

Carl's condition continued to spiral.  Strep pneumonia.  Septic shock.  Kidney failure.  Catastrophic medical phenomena continued.  I made two trips to the hospital to see him.  I kissed him, held his hand, thanked him for being my husband, thanked him for being an awesome father to our children.  I begged him to fight & told him how much we loved him.  His brother spent hours at his bedside.

On Monday, October 19th, at 8:13am - Carl took his last breath.

How had we gotten here?  How could I be saying goodbye to my Love?  How could this be happening?  One week before, we cheered our boys on during their mud run.  Now I prepared for the bus to arrive home.  Now I had to tell the boys that Daddy was gone.

A week before, it was picture perfect.  It was perfect until it was no longer.....

31 for 21 Challenge: Day Six. Statistics

This is a blog entry from 10/11/2012:


1 in 691 babies, in the U.S., are born with Down Syndrome yearly.

Reportedly, 88% of all cases arise from the mother's chromosome 21.
8% arise from the father's chromosome.
2% arise from mitotic errors after fusion.

Translocation Down Syndrome account for approximately 4-5% of all DS cases.

Nothing 'causes' Down Syndrome - it's no-one's fault.


66-89% of individuals with Down Syndrome have some level of hearing loss.

Chances of developing pneumonia are 62x higher in people with Down Syndrome.

The risk of leukemia is 15-20x higher in individuals with DS.

Seizures occur in 3-13% of people with Down Syndrome.

Approximately 50% of children with DS have congenital heart disease.

100% of people with DS will develop signs of Alzheimer's past the age of 35.



92% of pregnancies with a prenatal diagnosis of DS are terminated.

80% of babies with Down Syndrome are born to women under the age of 35.

Mom's Age	Risk for trisomy 21 (Down syndrome)	Risk for all trisomies
20	1 in 1,667	1 in 526
21	1 in 1,429	1 in 526
22	1 in 1,429	1 in 500
23	1 in 1,429	1 in 500
24	1 in 1,250	1 in 476
25	1 in 1,250	1 in 476
26	1 in 1,176	1 in 476
27	1 in 1,111	1 in 455
28	1 in 1,053	1 in 435
29	1 in 1,000	1 in 417
30	1 in 952	1 in 384
31	1 in 909	1 in 384
32	1 in 769	1 in 323
33	1 in 625	1 in 286
34	1 in 500	1 in 238
35	1 in 385	1 in 192
36	1 in 294	1 in 156
37	1 in 227	1 in 127
38	1 in 175	1 in 102
39	1 in 137	1 in 83
40	1 in 106	1 in 66
41	1 in 82	1 in 53
42	1 in 64	1 in 42
43	1 in 50	1 in 33
44	1 in 38	1 in 26
45	1 in 30	1 in 21
46	1 in 23	1 in 16
47	1 in 18	1 in 13
48	1 in 14	1 in 10
49	1 in 11	1 in 8

There are approximately 6,000 Down Syndrome diagnoses, in the U.S., each year.

There are more than 400,000 people in the U.S. living with Down Syndrome.

Odds of having a child with Down Syndrome increase based on mother's age as shown here:

Frequency of Down Syndrome
Per Maternal Age

Age (years)	Frequency of Fetuses with Down Syndrome to Normal Fetuses at 16 weeks of pregnancy	Frequency of Live Births of Babies with Down Syndrome to Normal Births
15 - 19	----	1 / 1250
20 - 24	----	1 / 1400
25 - 29	----	1 / 1100
30 - 31	----	1 / 900
32	----	1 / 750
33	1 / 420	1 / 625
34	1 / 325	1 / 500
35	1 / 250	1 / 350
36	1 / 200	1 / 275
37	1 / 150	1 / 225
38	1 / 120	1 / 175
39	1 / 100	1 / 140
40	1 / 75	1 / 100
41	1 / 60	1 / 85
42	1 / 45	1 / 65
43	1 / 35	1 / 50
44	1 / 30	1 / 40
45 and older	1 / 20	1 / 25

When we first learned about Josiah having Down Syndrome, these numbers meant more.  We took them more seriously.  The numbers, at times, frightened us.  That isn't true any more.  Josiah is just a little boy.  He's OUR little boy.  He's one of three!  Having children can be risky.  Being 'sure' about their future can be speculative.  We couldn't be happier with the family we have.  We couldn't ask for better children.  If we could go back and do it all over again.....

.....we wouldn't change a thing.

"Give me a firm place to stand, and I will move the earth."

- Archimedes