Monday, August 20, 2012

Accidental Censorship: Who's Blog is This???

I have been remiss in writing here.  I wasn't sure why.  It has been driving me crazy.  I have plenty to say.  I love to write.  Yet, I haven't been engaged.  I certainly have no less enjoyment in my topic.  So, I started to think about it.  Then, I looked into it.  From the start, I averaged 3-4 posts per week.  That's approximately 12-16 posts per month.  For the past 2 months, I have averaged a total of 7 per month - that's less than 2 per week.  It all changed in May and left me asking myself, "Who's blog is this?."

Someone, whom I adore, became concerned that readers might become bored with the blog.  See, at the beginning, the majority of my writing was topic-specific.  We had a baby with Down Syndrome.  We quickly involved early intervention.  Then, the truth about his heart became evident.  Our 3 month old survived an incredible open-heart surgery.  There was much to write; It was mostly about what consumed our thoughts - our baby boy.  Thankfully, he came through with flying colors.  He healed quickly.  His stamina, strength, and weight all started to follow suit.  By May, more of my writing included subjects other than Josiah (and his Down Syndrome).  Then, I was hit with the suggestion that I was boring my readers.  So, with reservation, I introduced the concept of Stone Soup....a catchy title for posts which were 'off topic.'  I tried to accommodate.  However, I've reached an impasse.

I am the mother of a child with Down Syndrome, true!  I am also the mother of two children without an extra chromosome.  I am also a wife (who is missing her husband tonight).  I am a daughter, niece, sister, sister-in-law, friend, and the list goes on.  Everyday, I juggle these roles as best I can (as many do).  My life is made up of multiple roles, tasks, chores, worries, obstacles, joys, blessings, achievements, etc.  One child does not define me or my life.  My children are my life but they do not define my life.  I cannot be one role without also being the others.  Why?....because that's who I am.  That truth exists when I wake up.  It exists when I write.  It exists when I go to bed. 

I am also a writer.  I began to write when I was in the second grade.  I write when I'm moved to write.  I write when I'm inspired.  I write when there's something to say.  Writing is personal for me.  It is one way of sharing my heart with those that I couldn't otherwise.  Of course, if people enjoy my writing - it's a plus.  However, it's not WHY I write.  I don't write for the enjoyment of others, though I love when that happens :).  I write because I'm a writer.  It's as simple as that.  I cannot conform to another's idea of what writing should be, what a topic should be, or what a blog should be.

And so, with excitement, Up The Down Staircase continues - as it was meant to be.  I will continue to write about Josiah...his ups, his downs, his growth (both typical and atypical of a child with Down Syndrome), etc.  I will also write about the things that make me, me.  With you (my reader) I will share, from the heart, my thoughts, feelings, fears, inadequacies, achievements, quirks, etc.  That's the way it has to be.  It's that, or stop writing....but I can't....I love it too much.

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