Monday, March 5, 2012

The Roller Coaster Ride

After feeling so positive yesterday morning, I had a bit of a let down.

Early in the afternoon, we decided to get our major grocery shopping done.  In preparation for the time out of the house, I nursed Josiah until he seemed satisfied.  We packed up the boys and headed to the store.  We were in the store for about five minutes; Josiah had a meltdown.  I thought, "No problem.  I'll just feed him a bottle."  Josiah refused to take it.  The mere offer of the bottle made him cry louder and stronger.  I couldn't believe this was happening.  I was armed with a well-thought-out grocery list, two boys who were looking forward to shopping and, now, a screaming baby.  I stood in the middle of the produce aisle for what seemed like an hour.  What do I do?  Do we shop anyway?  Why won't he take the bottle?  Is he going to scream like this the whole time?  Are we going home without having accomplished the grocery shopping?  It seemed like a devastating turn of events.  Carl offered to take Josiah out to the van to wait.  Luckily, Josiah was satisfied as long as Carl walked with him.  So....for the next hour or so, Carl walked Josiah around the store.  In the meanwhile, I completed the grocery shopping with the two older boys.  By the end, I was exhausted and drained but, at least, the grocery shopping was complete.

Once home, I nursed Josiah off-an-on as usual.  He ultimately took 3oz of breast milk in a bottle....I knew not all had been lost.  I still can't explain how frustrating this is for me.  It feels very personal for me.  We spent the evening with the boys.  Jesse went to bed late, given that it was a school night; he did finish his homework, so that was one more accomplishment for the day. 

Carl and I were exhausted.  Josiah fell asleep around 1:30am; I put him in his crib and went to bed.  He woke me at 5:45am....another week begins.

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